skatingparty's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- w.r.e.w. (a) i remember sixteen, and the three of us. ocean air and a watch shop. "one for your wife as well?" and when he asked that question, you saw a thousand different versions of your future flash before your eyes. suddenly everything was the two of you, and i felt very small, and very alone. i remember eighteen, and kensington market. running so hard our sides hurt, just for the hell of it, and ducking into a shop to catch our breath. the three of us and a tiny silver ring. and when you saw that ring, i saw your future playing out. i was the distraction while he bought it for you. it made me feel useful. (it made me feel empty) i remember twenty-two, and a backyard in october. raindrops and turnables. we moved the chairs back inside so that they wouldn't get wet. tails and top-hats, well suited to you both. "you can have it all" and while you said the words that set your futures into motion, i watched mine through the backs of my eyes. and i wanted. i wanted. you sit on the porch with your mother, in the moments you can escape him. you say you want to leave, and i can see it in tired eyes. i wish there was no heaviness, and that i could still envy you, but instead i find myself without the appropriate words to say. so mostly i just stay away. you saw a thousand different futures flash before your eyes, but you could plan a million and still never get it right.
4:34 p.m. - 2003-11-13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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