mount joy

i think about, if not daily, weekly.
i will get up early one morning, long before the sun does... i will drive to mount joy and greet the sun as it comes up.
there is nothing there but a road sign and a memory, and i can't really explain my obsession with the spot, except to say that i lost something on the day of my last visit there, six years ago. and maybe, all of this time, i have been subsconciously thinking that i can reclaim it if i only drive back there.
given what i lost this is an absolutely ridiculous notion and, in fact, void of any true symbolism.
sometimes i feel like looking at things with older eyes will give me some kind of perspective, but i feel like i had a better sense of perspective at 18 than at 24.
maybe i want to get back there because i want that back?
i don't know.
i'd just like for my head to be clear for more than a few minutes at a time.

12:23 p.m. - 2003-06-12

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